When I yield my will to love

my apatite for lesser morsels

becomes unimportant

but it seems I grow hungrier still

hungrier for more of this divine grace

for what can fill me but this purpose

in Christ alone I place my burden

for he has walked the infinite mile

climbed the ladder

and sent it down for me to catch.

all i need do

one foot in front of the other

but sum-times I get to hungry

my love becomes desire

lust burns at the pire

then I go back to my heart

and look to patience,


and wisdom

to transform my pace.

To hurry on forward

would lose the race.

The race where each step

has its pace.

Lest we get lost in

Golden sweat

dripping down porcelain bodies

We will be good to remember

The shell one-day cracks

flesh becomes dust,

but what remains?

That which was aware

is still here


and dear.

The eye that sees

both clear

and near.

So remembering before the fire

that purity

and that sobriety.

One step backwards

into piety.




Favorite Place

Brisk me away

To my favorite place

Steal me today

In dark satin lace

My husbands a fool

He can’t feel my embrace

Brisk me away

To my favorite place






Waters of the Sea

Taking a dip in the waters of the sea

Has become a most refreshing thing to me.

Before I used to freeze and shiver.

Now I relish in the undertow.

Wading toward the boarder between safety and adventure.

I now love the pull of her icy hands and the massage of her crescent waves.

Oh my beloved, thou art the ocean.

Oh my dearest, thou art divine.

Now I swim alone

Soon I’ll swim entwine.


But when I tried to go fully under

Oh what an earache

a fearful blunder


For now up to my chest or knee deep

Ill catch your smashing blows upon my heart

Until your waters decide I’m smart.


And then my eyes and heart will be thine

And so to my mind.


Oh make me a seagull lost at sea

Flowing, ebbing patiently


OH there’s dry land

Now I’m free

I’ll wait a while in the sun


And then comes morning

And I’ll be back in.

Swallowed hole by your largest wave

A new found sensation

I wholey crave



Powerful Potion

What kind of ingredients go into a magic potion of this caliber

the power of creation

to  love one another

from all stations


The power of authenticity

to rock the boat of discipline

and yet not fall over

into the turmoil

and chaos

of the storm


What kind of rain

falls on me

when I’m broken

when I’m free


Startling yet apparent

every song ends

with same

never-ending story


an absolute tree

we can climb

all day long

and at night

take a pause

and take flight

nestling in my

darkened corners

waking to the sun


And filling ourselves with

natures nectar

The fruits

first and foremost

ripe and sweet

oh a magic potion


The mothers teat




Doubting Tomas

I’m sorry I ever doubted your magic

It was in your song I took breath

I looked into the mirror and saw my own reflection

my fear staring me back in the face

and I projected that onto you

Forgive this doubting Tomas


Oh bless the lord 

Oh my soul

Oh my soul

Worship his holy name


The Goddess Speaks

And I listen

Her voice is an untold song

And I may never be forgiven

But I don’t care


I will sing your praises 


10000 years and forever more


However small however great

even doubt is a gate

For me to enter

and smash myself

upon your heavenly grace


Thank you God

Thank you








Italic lines from : In Christ alone


The Sweetness of God

So I have been thinking about the key on not getting stuck when working from or pulled out of the pure awareness & oneness of the I am state of consciousness.

Anyone who isn’t familiar with this language can check that out here.



When we start to move toward & be in the space of I am we at first may become aware that every time a thought arises in the mind, it carry’s a sort of stickiness to it.

It has a pull that relies on our desire, or our “wanting”. Our attached mind that seeks personal form in its pondering.

So the key is simple these thoughts are like a honey, and weather its chocolate, pizza or sex, or the fear we won’t be seen as we wish to others, ultimately its all personal to the mind-state/ ego state / or whatever you wish to call it of identification.


A few weeks ago I saw this quote


Before a thought arises, do you know it is going to
come? You cannot decide, ‘Oh, I’m only going to have
Jesus-thoughts today,’ or, ‘I dedicate this space for
only Buddha’s words and contemplations this week.’

Thoughts arise arbitrarily and unannounced, but this
by itself is not thinking. Thinking begins when the
arising thought connects with the thinker-thought,
the thinker-identity. Out of this communion, thinking
is produced. Know that both the thoughts and the
thinker of thoughts are one: mind. When it is seen that
even the thinker is a thought believed into existence,
the power or force of the psychological mind dissipates,
and peace prevails.

~ Mooji



So when that “thought arises” we get personal and the honey of desire pulls us in and we “Forget our true state” Our uninterrupted state that is always present. Our I amness of being.


To add in Nag Hammadhi the saviour speaks on being in want further and about God.

‘Become full, and leave no space within you empty, for he who is coming can
mock you.”
Then Peter replied, “Lo, three times you have told us, ‘Become full’; but we are full.”
The Savior answered and said, “For this cause I have said to you, ‘Become full,’ that you
may not be in want. They who are in want, however, will not be saved. For it is good to
be full, and bad to be in want. Hence, just as it is good that you be in want and,
conversely, bad that you be full, so he who is full is in want, and he who is in want does
not become full as he who is in want becomes full, and he who has been filled, in turn
attains due perfection. Therefore, you must be in want while it is possible to fill you, and
be full while it is possible for you to be in want, so that you may be able to fill yourselves
the more. Hence, become full of the Spirit, but be in want of reason, for reason <belongs
to> the soul; in turn, it is (of the nature of) soul.”

So a key is to be in want of God surely, In want of that divine honey which when we get immersed in that, Holy Spirit Insulation makes it easy for us to be detached from wanting earthly things & therefore the personal identification doesn’t happen.

So this is why they talk about becoming detached from earthly things in so many religions. But at the same time we must be in want of the Sweetness of God.


And he talks about the nature of God as thus

He does not activate himself so as to become still. He is not an existence,
lest he be in want. Spatially, he is corporeal, while properly he is incorporeal. He has
non-being existence. He exists for all of them unto himself without any desire. But he is a
greater summit of greatness. And he is higher than his stillness, in order that …

So it seems clear to me that when we attain our own buddahood or to be in the likeness of god “perfection” we will no longer be lost in want.



So, there is no other one hidden except God alone. But he is revealed to everyone, and yet
he is very hidden. He is revealed because God knows all. And if they do not wish to
affirm it, they will be corrected by their heart. Now he is hidden because no one perceives
the things of God. For it is incomprehensible and unfathomable to know the counsel of
God. Furthermore, it is difficult to comprehend him, and it is difficult to find Christ. For
he is the one who dwells in every place, and also he is in no place. For no one who wants to will be able to know God as he actually is, nor Christ, nor the Spirit, nor the chorus of angels, nor even the archangels, as well as the thrones of the spirits, and the exalted lordships, and the Great Mind. If you do not know yourself, you will not be able to know all of these.
Open the door for yourself, that you may know the One who is. Knock on yourself, that the Word may open for you. For he is the Ruler of Faith and the Sharp Sword, having become all for everyone because he wishes to have mercy on everyone.”


And therefore knowing our true-self, and becoming immersed in the self is key. Put on the sweetness of God which will protect you from the stickiness of egoic personal identification. Give all to God as all is His, claim nothing, want nothing outside of Him & in the wanting of him let go of want.

Yes it sounds self contradictory, because in-order to approach the self we must not want to approach the self. In order to meditate we must not want to meditate. Meditation on the self is how we approach god, and meditation on the self brings “Reason, Wisdom.”

It’s this wisdom that reorders the mind such that it is not in want and yet at the same time in want of Gods Kingdom. And because of this the nature of God is always hidden, as when we approach him we do so with eyes wide shut


Tortoise poem

So Tame
Like a Tortoise
go back into your shell
while I scratch your back
There’s no need for adventure here
in tortoise world
its only turtles that get to swim
you couldn’t even stand up straight
without me to give you a brace
without me to propel you
on your feet.
Slow and steady tortoise move
careful don’t trip on a stone
careful I’m leaving you alone.

Cosmic Orgasm

When one is

Gestating in the womb of the divine mother,

one knows life as a cosmic orgasm.


Doing the dishes,

cleaning a spoon

you are the spoon

you are the sponge

you are polishing yourself

you run your sponge along the shaft

as if enjoying your own metallic staff


Each step of nimble foot

dreads to touch the ground

dreads the ecstasy

felt in contact with the earth

yet relishing in delight


Fear and friend

Hot and groaning

emotions mingle in the cosmic womb


all of life

a sexual encounter


all of life

a divine marriage


so much bliss

and so much pain


feelings mingle

its insane


Gestating in the cosmic womb

is enough to drive me

to the moon


Where I’ll drink the Goddess

While she makes me swoon


Absolute terror

yet none abased


Give me a moment of relief

I beg you


You are my freshness

You are my stillness


Father have mercy

Jesus Christ have mercy






Let Go

Let go :
What is there too hold too
if everyday is new
Surely nothing concrete
Surely nothing



Wisdom of the Buddha is
Die a new each day.